She has arrived!

I think Mike and I were still in a state of shock at this point. Such a beautiful little girl! So much hair! What the hell do we do with this thing? It's crying and sleeping and pooping and eating...does it do anything else?

Actually, I wish I would have started this in the very beginning as the whole first 2 months were a bit of a blur. I remember getting up and feeding her (or trying to, as my stitches and lack of connected stomach muscles, kept me from getting directly UP) at all hours of the night.

But since it was a blur, I obviously didn't have time to do this until now. (It seems there still is never enough time, and everything for V always takes a lot longer that I think it will)

Mike is so great at doing all the maintenance stuff...gets up at 2 am without complaining and still says "I still say this is easier than I was expecting." - crazy person!

I found those first weeks to be pretty darned hard. I had a very easy C-section, no complications. The only problems I had through the whole pregnancy was swelling, and during the induced labor - Violet got a little sick of it so they took her out in an emergency fashion. But trying to care for a baby after recovering from surgery is very difficult and disappointing. You want to hold her and feed her, and you have to keep a pillow on your lap to protect your stitches, and not hold her in her carrier at all.

I have to say that with all the research I read online, I was really expecting it to be wrong.
i.e.:I won't find this hard, I will love my baby completely from the first time I see her, I will not mind changing a poo diaper at 4 am when I just went to bed at 2. I won't suffer from depression....

But it was hard! Very hard! I did love her from the first moment, but not nearly as much as I love her now - now that she smiles and coos and has a personality and we have had time to bond. (now I sneak in and peek at her after she goes to sleep and cry like a hallmark movie because I can't believe we made her.) We all know how it feels to get up at 4 am when you go to bed at 2! And I did have some mild post-partum depression for a week or two. It felt kinda like shock. ("Holy crap - I have a kid!) and I cried for no reason. (I thought that was totally a myth - it's not!)

Well, she is 4 month old tomorrow. (16 weeks) She has already grown and changed so much!
I will try to keep you all posted as things happen. (Things do tend to happen without us having much time...but I will do my best.

-nat