work and health are such a bother!

Tonight I start the exercise plan that I hope will return me to my wedding size (it should take me at least 6 months). Curves seems great for me as it requires little time and no thought. (It's a circuit plan that simultaneously does cardio and weights) It only takes 30 minutes and is directly on my way home from work. So I won't have to spend a lot more time away from Violet. (and I will feel guilty driving by and not stopping)

I already have a lot of guilt about going back to work. It's very hard to leave in the morning. I am a total whiner though - I get to go home for lunch and Mike is with her all day, so I am not leaving her with a stranger all day long. That would be much harder. (So many people have to do this and I'm sure it's hard, not to mention expensive!) But it still isn't me! I want to be the one home with her!

Okay - I admit that getting out of the house is a bit of a break for me. I have no emotional attachment to my job, so I never take anything to heart there, and that makes it much easier than the stresses of home (taking care of a refluxed little angel) . But those sad little eyes and all of the psychological damage I am sure I am inflicting on her poor little developing mind by not being there! Im her mother! And now I want 30 MORE minutes 3 times a week?

I know I am being ridiculous, but I am glad I can vent all this here instead of murmuring under my breath at the gym and in my office. That would be entertaining for others for sure, but a little embarrasing.

Mike sent me this photo today to keep my spirits up. He is the guy in that commercial that they show dancing to Brittany wearing a tiara in front of the TV and you think, "what a goof!", and then they pan down and show the little girl dancing with him wearing full dress-up gear. The narrator comes on and says "It takes a real man to be a dad". That is Mike. He isn't afraid to be silly. I'm so lucky! What a great family I have! (sorry, a little bragging there.... :)

Wish me luck on my new weight loss adventure! Im sure you are all rooting for me!